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Tzigana-Mae – Nine Months

Ziggy baby!  You are now officially nine months!  And in less than two weeks you will have officially been outside of my body as long as you were inside.  Woah.

Your eighth month was full of busy. B-U-S-Y!

There was so much going on in ways of family things that is just zoomed by.

This last half of the month consisted you of you:

-pulling yourself up by yourself

-starting to cruise along furniture

-walking with us holding your hands

-walking while pushing your big wooden activity block

-standing up by yourself from a squat position and just standing there in complete, adorable awe of your viking strength!

Girl you are wild. You are LOUD. You are one of us!

You don’t have any new words this month. And in fact, since starting practicing walking and the teething (eye teeth are bastards) you have gone back to mainly babbling with some mamamama and daddeedaddee babababa ROAR.  But the last three days have had you sign Papa, Milk, and Want.

Ecing is still not as consistent as I would like it, but we’re all doing our best and life is busy and you are even busier.  Eating babyled weaning style is still going quite slow.  You are just really not interested. At all.  You play, and taste but thats pretty much it.  You love drinking water out of Mama’s water bottle so today we got you a couple of your own.

Baby this month has been FUN.  I love the newborn stage and I love the bigger baby stage!  Your personality is blossoming, you are a ray of sunshine.  You light up rooms, and still are quite the charmer and people person.  The past two months you have needed more Mama time which has been frustrating for your Papa, but you still adore him and ask for him to come and play with you.  I’m am so thrilled to see the two of you forming such a strong bond.  A girl and her Papa is such an important relationship.

I love you my love, and I am honoured to be your Mama.





Little Blue Dragon







I started to slowly go through some pictures of the past few months today.

Here are a two of Ziggy-Mae ^.^

She was so round!


Grief is this ridiculous thing.

It feels so inappropriate right now.  The past months have been terrible, and stifling, and all the other things that staunch anything creative.

My daughter? Is excellent. Magnificent. She is magical. All that is good, and light. Wild abandon she has in spades.

I am not wired like my husband, if one thing is good, then everything is good.  Or good enough.

I try but fail utterly at that perspective.  Perhaps its my broken mind, I don’t know.

Our life has a lot of not good going on, and I am struggling to put things in boxes.

I have so many lovely things I’ve wanted to share.  Tzigana turning six months.  She will be eight months next week.  Hysterical videos of  her.  Things I want to talk about that mean something.  But this grief.

Is such a cock block.

So how are you all?  What is blocking you? Or have you pushed through?  If so, please share some wisdom and perspective with me.

Us narcissists love our pity parties, but I am about ready to hobble home.

This hour last year I said goodbye to her.
I see you in her eyes.
I love you. I remember.

I miss you.

I received this in the mail yesterday and had been saving this to give to her until I felt it was the right time. My dad came over today for some Chili and Cornbread and Bob Dylan tunes. This moment felt like the right time 🙂


Here is the video of her after she had figured out what to do with it 😀

I love seeing him and her together and interacting.  ❤

Things I’ve discovered in the past two weeks. Two crockpot meals a week carry us through the week pretty well. That discovery is saving us a LOT of money.

So in typical Cristy fashion I give you, out of order. Meal number two!

Chili and Cornbread!

What you will need for the Chili:

One package of Lean Ground Turkey

Two Zucchinis (I used one green, and one yellow)

One large onion of your preference (I used the last of my Shallots)

Two things of fresh mushrooms

Carrots! The average would be two medium ones. All I had was a less than half of a small package of baby carrots. So that is what I used.

Your favorite beans of choice. I used chick peas, black beans and lentils.

One can (or jar or whatevs) of whole tomatoes. One of diced tomatoes

Spices and shit. ie Cumin, Chili Powder, fresh Garlic, fresh Basil, fresh Jalapeño and Bay Leaves.
I also add a good splash of red wine and a few tablespoons of brown sugar.

How you cook it up:
Brown the meat. Add the Wine. Add the diced tomatoes and simmer.

In your pot add some olive (or your preferred oil) and sauté up the onions then add all the other veg. Let that cook a bit then add the meat.
THEN add the whole tomatoes and liquid and crush up the tomatoes with your hand (gushy) and then add your spices and beans. Wash the beans first if canned! Or you may die! (not really)

Stir well and let cook for however long. Usually a couple hours anyway. Make sure you don’t accidentally let the bottom burn!

Voila! Chili. It’s easy. Feel free to fiddle with it. I do it slightly different every time.

Cornbread, what you need:
Two cups cornmeal
Two cups buttermilk (I did not have any so I used coconut milk. Was delicious and did not make it taste like coconut)
Two eggs
Two teaspoons honey or one teaspoon sugar
One teaspoon salt
One teaspoon baking soda

Preheat your oven to 450 f

In a medium bowl combine the dry ingredients
In another medium bowl beat the eggs and add in the milk and honey
Dump the wet in with the dry, mix with spoon till combined.

Pour into greased nine inch pan or skillet. Bake for 20-25 minutes and Voila!

The credit for this cornbread recipe goes to this excellent gal! I am eternally grateful!


This Just In!

She is now howling full out wolf! OH MY HEART!

Here are two long (ish) videos from today. Wherein you will see me poorly read a story, with the other video just of Tzigana sittin’ and chillin’.


On My Mind

– Bob Dylan speaks to my soul

– These past two days Tzigana has started hooting like an owl.  We were trying to teach her to howl like a wolf. Owl/Wolf.  Pretty close really.

– We want to move back to Toronto so badly, to the Distillery  District..  I don’t do well with staying in one place for long.

– I am so relieved it seems that Tzigana-Mae has mostly grown out of her food sensitivities.  I am still staying away from Dairy and Soy but at least if I accidentally have some it doesn’t bother her.

– I am so lonely for a friend in real life.  We don’t have to be the same even, just at least respectful of my parenting differences.. *sad sigh*

~~What is on your mind these days?